Who Filled Your Bucket Today?

Every morning as my girls climb onto the school bus, I call out with a smile, “Fill someone’s bucket today!” It’s become our little ritual—a reminder to lead with kindness, empathy, and intention.

For those unfamiliar with the concept, “bucket filling” is all about lifting others up. It can be as simple as offering a compliment, lending a helping hand, or showing appreciation. The goal is to fill someone’s emotional bucket—not deplete it. You never want to take from someone’s bucket; only add to it.

I’ve always been intentional about asking my girls, “Whose bucket did you fill today?” Because at the end of the day, while I hope they grow to be smart and capable, what I care about most is that they’re kind, inclusive, and emotionally aware. Kindness is free—and it can change someone’s entire day.

When I was designing my journal, I knew this question had to be included. But it was a dear mom friend, Dr. Maggie Parker, who is also a certified Child Center Play Therapist (and has an amazing podcast!), who suggested I add, “Who filled your bucket today?” She said this question teaches kids to recognize and receive kindness, helps build self-awareness and gets them to notice small gestures that make them feel seen.  Research also shows it opens the door to conversations about loneliness, disappointment, or gratitude.

And wow… what a powerful shift that question created. I’ve been surprised by the answers my girls have given—and sometimes, by the silence.

There were days when they’d say, “No one filled my bucket today, Mommy.” And I was stunned. No one? Not a single kind word or gesture? But then I realized something important—Ryan and I had unintentionally conditioned them to associate bucket filling with big, tangible gestures: a Target run, a manicure, a special treat. We hadn’t talked enough about the small, everyday kindnesses that matter just as much.

That’s one of the many reasons I’m so grateful for these journals. They’ve helped us redefine what it means to feel seen and supported. Now, we talk about how someone grabbing a spoon for you at lunch, holding the door when your hands are full, or simply saying “I missed you” can fill your bucket. It’s not about grand gestures—it’s about noticing the little ones.

And here’s the beautiful ripple effect: kids can carry this question forward. Just like we ask them, “Whose bucket did you fill?” they can begin asking their own friends, siblings, or even grown-ups, “Who filled your bucket today?” It’s a gentle way to spark connection, build emotional awareness, and remind each other that kindness doesn’t have to be loud—it just has to be real.

XX,

Alexis